The other day was my (not-so-little-anymore) sister’s birthday and it was exciting to see her turn 15, now a fully-fledged teen, and as tall as I am. I felt the kind of joy that a mother feels seeing her young toddler finally learn to walk after crawling for quite some time. Sijui kama ni kuzeeka nazeeka ama it’s just the big sister syndrome doing a number on me.

Our 12-year age gap has been no joke; saying I have deputy parenting skills would be an understatement. Because guys, I have 14 rich years of experience that entail babysitting, parents’ day attendance, offering wise counsel and encouragement, disciplining, and even dropping and picking up the baby from school (both in primary and high school). Experience tunayo, hatuna?

Being an elder sister/deputy parent 😂 has been a unique blend of joy, responsibility, and sometimes exasperation. Watching Princess (as we fondly call her) grow has been like watching a raw Aquamarine being polished and faceted into a beautiful gem, and I feel a sense of pride and accomplishment with every milestone she hits, but guys, let’s be real, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows.

Balancing the two roles while she was a toddler was a bit easy, but now that she is a teen, there is a unique set of challenges. Firstly, there’s the constant desire to be her very close friend while still trying to keep her growth in check as an African elder sister😂. Like other normal teens, Princess is also navigating so much — hormonal changes, identity discovery, and peer pressure, and she definitely needs someone who can be both a guide and a confidante. It’s a delicate balance, and most of the time, I worry if I’m doing it right or if I am emanating the typical ‘African mother’ vibes some Gen X and Y experienced while growing up. Wueeh!

There are days when the gap feels more like a chasm, and our differences in perspective make communication tough (Princess has been caught up in the middle of Gen Z and Gen Alpha up and about while I still struggle to figure out if I am a Gen Y or Gen Z😂though I tend to strongly lean on the Gen Y side). Anyway, the point is that she’s discovering the world anew as a Gen Z/Alpha, while I sometimes as a Gen Y, find myself being overly cautious, trying to shield her from the crazy and unfriendly fangs of the world out here and mistakes I feel she is going to make or I made myself.

Therefore, one minute, we are having a tough conversation about her unstable performance in school, and the next, we are having those magical moments where we are having late-night movie marathons, spontaneous dance and photography sessions, sharing each other's dreams, fears, the latest home/school/work drama, inside jokes, the latest guy in the picture, and surprise ideas for Mother’s Day and Mom’s birthday, and I realize just how much our bond means to each other. Those are the times I treasure the most, and they remind me that having a younger sister is a gift.

As she continues to grow, I know our relationship will evolve, and so will my roles. There will be not only new hurdles to overcome but also more milestones to celebrate, God willing. But no matter what, as enabled by the Lord, I’ll always be there, cheering her on and offering a shoulder to lean on. Because that’s what elder sisters do! So, to all the elder sisters out there, I salute you for the sleepless nights of worrying about how your younger sisters will turn out after teenagehood, the heartfelt talks and occasional arguments you guys have, and the endless love you share. It’s definitely a demanding but rewarding journey, filled with both challenges and triumphs.

And to my sister, Happy 15th birthday, Princess! Here’s to many more years of growing, learning, and laughing together as sisters, as the Lord wills. I pray that you may learn to rely on the Lord to direct your every step, prosper your every work, build up your faith, and give you the desire to honor Him in all you do! Bonne Anniversaire, ma chérie!